We arrived home with Maya at 8.30pm on Saturday 9th July - and were terrified - what the hell were we supposed to do with a baby who was just 1 day old?? We struggled to get her into the car seat and once in it was far too big - was it really going to help her in an accident?? At home we set up the moses basket in the lounge and tried desperately to keep Paddy and his big long snout away from her - she was so tiny and we were really paranoid about how delicate she must be. I don't have much recollection of the first night home, I am assuming we went to bed quite early, and I imagine we checked Maya every 5 minutes to check she was still alive, but other than that it all seems a blur!
Lauren recommended Gina Ford's book to help us get into a routine, however on reading the book I just got angry. How the hell can you get newborns into a routine? Apparently you should make babies wait between feeds (which is actually damaging as it can mean they are not getting enough milk, and can decrease your milk supply), let them cry themselves to sleep. It is a ridiculous book - you can tell she's never had kids of her own. There is no way I can let Maya cry things out. She says the babies she 'cares' for never cry - probably because they know there's no point as they won't get any attention! Anyway we decided we were better on muddling through ourselves!
Our first full day at home was awash with visitors - my parents had already been to meet Maya in hospital the day before luckily but we still entertained 3 sets of visitors. Caroline arrived really early with presents for Maya and enjoyed some cuddles before heading off. James' parents and gran were next up and stayed for a couple of hours - by this time Maya was getting grizzly and my painkillers were wearing off so I could barely walk. Sharon and Richard came to see Maya after dinner and she was very good - and received some fabulous presents!
The first week whizzed past very quickly in a total blur. James took a week's paternity leave and my parents visited a few times to watch Maya or take her out for a walk whilst we tried to get some sleep. However I was pretty useless at daytime sleeping! Maya and I really struggled with breastfeeding - she didn't latch on very well and always fell asleep making nightfeeds last several hours. When she was weighted on Day 5 and had lost over 10% of her body weight I was distraught and really really worried. She appeared to be healthy and thriving but was not feeding at all well, and had colic. I was ready to give up breastfeeding at this point, especially when the maternity care assistant's helpful advice was to wake her up again during a night feed by stripping her off and changing her nappy - oh great make them last even longer - am I not allowed to sleep at all? Maya also cluster-fed in the evenings which very demanding. We had tears several times with both the mid wife and maternity care assistant, and even those unfortunate to visit when I was feeling a bit low. I broke down and sobbed for the entire length of Bea and Heidi's visit and looked like a proper mental case - fortunately it did result in them bringing us a huge meal! However we were impressively out an about by the end of the first week, despite the fact I could still barely walk!
At the end of week 2 we had clocked up a panicky visit to the Riverside Clinic, many more hours of crying, and were still not putting on weight quickly enough. One morning James went to work and I was laying in bed trying to feed Maya crying - not so good for the bonding experience. So when the health visitor came for the 2 week check I announced that I was abandoning breastfeeding as it was more important that she started to gain weight. So we started expressing all feeds instead. At first I thought this was going to be impossible and was a stupid idea, but I then discovered my friend Hannah was doing it as well so I didn't feel such a failure. I expressed 4/5 times a day and gave Maya a formula feed at night to give myself a break and suddenly everything got easier! James and I could share feeds, we got much more sleep and Maya loved the bottle and wolfed down her milk. At the end of the first week of bottles she had put on 11.5 oz!!!! We were very pleased - all of the hassle of expressing (which is uncomfortable, time consuming and dull) seemed worth it!
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