So maternity leave has finally drawn to an end. Sad times. There will be no more singing in the library, no more drinking enormous hot chocolates and eating cake in Costa or Cafe Nero, and there will be no more laying in and watching films in bed - although this one ended a while back when Maya suddenly decided that laying in bed was boring!
So on Wednesday 20th June, after exactly a year off, I headed back to work. I wasn't worried about leaving Maya as she had already been in nursery for a few weeks and was very happy there, however I was concerned about my ability to teach after having a year off.
I drove in with as much enthusiasm as I could muster, which wasn't that much to be honest. Straight away I felt that I had never been away, I couldn't lock my car due to some problem that no-one can explain, that has been affecting cars on the school site for about three years now, the Year 11s were hanging around getting in everyone's way and the Humanities office looked like a bomb had gone off in it. My classroom looked a bit of a tip too.
Fortunately I only had 4 and a half weeks at work before the summer holidays and a very light timetable so I could spend time rewriting schemes of work and preparing for the next year. However those weeks weren't the best of my teaching career! Lauren and I were picking up the odd Key Stage 3 class here and there - and we were sharing those so we only saw them twice. This was a good thing, as generally they were horrible and thought we were supply teachers, they had also been taught by non-specialists before so didn't really like geography very much. I think I had totally forgotten about how pathetic some kids are - and actually just how many rude and difficult pupils we actually have at our school.
Our plan to share a timetable soon went out of the window - we would be sharing a ropey Year 11 form group, but various timetabling issues meant that Lauren would be teaching no geography and I would be teaching a huge chunk of Entry Level English - this took weeks to sort out and communication was very poor leaving us in an awkward position. On raising this with my line manager I experienced a barrage of aggressive bullying and refusal to accept any blame. Apparently I will find it hard to balance work and home - at the moment I would just like a chance to try as someone is not to keen to hand back the reigns of my department and let me get on with it.
Anyway I was very pleased when the summer holiday arrived - however I had a mountain of work to get through: rewriting 14 schemes of work for Key Stage 3, rewriting the GCSE schemes of work, planning for Entry Level English and marking coursework. So most days when Maya was in nursery I was ploughing on and trying to make some headway. In fact I actually worked more this holiday than I have done in the past - despite now only being paid 0.6. Why? Probably because I am a bit of a mug. Also I know that the rest of my department will not have done their allocation!
On results day I went in for an hour or so, not because I wanted to, but because I felt that I should. Results were disappointing, but that's what you get when so many grotty kids opt for your subject, you give two difficult groups to NQTs, and pupils spend much more time revising for core subjects than yours. However I felt strangely detached from it all - the students I had taught in Year 10 did very well, but as I hadn't taught them at all in Year 11 I didn't feel anything. Overall the results of the entire school were quite poor - which makes me feel a bit better about our subject, but also I know that we will hear nothing but this when we get back.
So the new term is just around the corner... am I looking forward to getting back into the swing of things? Well no, actually, anything but. I don't really know what it is. James is starting at a brand new school which is quite exciting, and I think I am a bit jealous of that. I think I am also getting itchy feet - I have been at my school now for eight years, however now I am part-time I won't be able to get another subject leader role - so I think I am feeling a little bit at a dead-end. I think mostly I know that I don't want to do this job forever, but have no idea what to do, particularly something that will pay as well as my current post.
I think I just need to get back and embrace the new term, and hope that my past enthusiasm returns, and I will start to remember why I entered teaching in the first place. At the moment I am not sure, which makes me feel a bit sad.
Tuesday, 4 September 2012
She's growing up too fast!
Wednesday 30th May was a big day for us - it was Maya's first trial at nursery, and the first time I would be leaving her with someone I didn't know.
Choosing a nursery wasn't a hard task for us - we had a choice of 3 that opened at 7.30am - Just Learning at Rushmere and Pinewood, and Birch Farm at Hintlesham. Both of the Just Learning nurseries are not on my way to work - although sadly Maya's little friends Maggie and Jack were going to one of them. Still they don't have to do everything together! Birch Farm was perfect - 10 mintes from my work and I drive right past it anyway.
So back in February Mum and I went to have a look round, and then I took James the following week. Straight away I knew that it was right for us, and of course more importantly, right for Maya. It has a beautiful setting - right out in the countryside, so feels really safe. The facilities and staff are lovely too. I was expecting it to be pristene so was initially disappointed - until I realised that that should have worried me - a tidy nursery doesn't exactly scream 'play'!
So our trial day came round - I don't think I was ready and I was worried about leaving Maya. However it was only for 90 minutes, and as soon as we were there she was happy and excited by everything around her. Her key worker Diane was lovely (actually a mum from my school!) and took her out of my arms so I left them to it.
That 90 minutes was very strange - I had no idea what to do with myself! In fact I just spent the time shuffling around Tesco - a place that I despise!! However when I picked her up she looked very settled and had been enjoying her morning outside playing with all of the different toys and seemed very comfortable with her key worker.
Friday that week we had another trial morning, which again she loved, and during the half term she started properly completing two days. James and I once again didn't really know what to do with ourselves - we went to get our hair cut on the Wednesday and had lunch at the Nelson. On Friday we wandered around the shops again and went for lunch at the Greyhound. It was nice not to have to worry whether our chosen venue for lunch was baby friendly, and it was nice to be able to use escalators and not have to wait ages for for lifts clogged up with fat lazy people! Each time we picked Maya up she cried - mainly because she couldn't get to us quick enough - but also because she was so happy there.
Unfortunately on the day I returned to work properly she cried when I dropped her off - suddenly she had realised that I would be leaving her for several hours. This was my worse nightmare for my first day back, as I really didn't want to go to work anyway!
We had a couple of weeks of this, with the occasional tears at pick up time too. However now when I drop her off she is so unbelievably excited - and is so confident with the other children and staff. A couple of weeks ago we actually had our first parents' evening consultation - this was certainly more enjoyable than the ones I have as a teacher, and it was amazing to see everything that they had noted down about her and just how much she had changed in the space of a few months.
The whole experience has made me feel very very proud indeed, but also a little bit sad that she is growing up so fast!
Choosing a nursery wasn't a hard task for us - we had a choice of 3 that opened at 7.30am - Just Learning at Rushmere and Pinewood, and Birch Farm at Hintlesham. Both of the Just Learning nurseries are not on my way to work - although sadly Maya's little friends Maggie and Jack were going to one of them. Still they don't have to do everything together! Birch Farm was perfect - 10 mintes from my work and I drive right past it anyway.
So back in February Mum and I went to have a look round, and then I took James the following week. Straight away I knew that it was right for us, and of course more importantly, right for Maya. It has a beautiful setting - right out in the countryside, so feels really safe. The facilities and staff are lovely too. I was expecting it to be pristene so was initially disappointed - until I realised that that should have worried me - a tidy nursery doesn't exactly scream 'play'!
So our trial day came round - I don't think I was ready and I was worried about leaving Maya. However it was only for 90 minutes, and as soon as we were there she was happy and excited by everything around her. Her key worker Diane was lovely (actually a mum from my school!) and took her out of my arms so I left them to it.
That 90 minutes was very strange - I had no idea what to do with myself! In fact I just spent the time shuffling around Tesco - a place that I despise!! However when I picked her up she looked very settled and had been enjoying her morning outside playing with all of the different toys and seemed very comfortable with her key worker.
Friday that week we had another trial morning, which again she loved, and during the half term she started properly completing two days. James and I once again didn't really know what to do with ourselves - we went to get our hair cut on the Wednesday and had lunch at the Nelson. On Friday we wandered around the shops again and went for lunch at the Greyhound. It was nice not to have to worry whether our chosen venue for lunch was baby friendly, and it was nice to be able to use escalators and not have to wait ages for for lifts clogged up with fat lazy people! Each time we picked Maya up she cried - mainly because she couldn't get to us quick enough - but also because she was so happy there.
Unfortunately on the day I returned to work properly she cried when I dropped her off - suddenly she had realised that I would be leaving her for several hours. This was my worse nightmare for my first day back, as I really didn't want to go to work anyway!
We had a couple of weeks of this, with the occasional tears at pick up time too. However now when I drop her off she is so unbelievably excited - and is so confident with the other children and staff. A couple of weeks ago we actually had our first parents' evening consultation - this was certainly more enjoyable than the ones I have as a teacher, and it was amazing to see everything that they had noted down about her and just how much she had changed in the space of a few months.
The whole experience has made me feel very very proud indeed, but also a little bit sad that she is growing up so fast!
Friday, 6 April 2012
One born every minute....
My friends raved about this program when it first came on (ok, not all of them - just one baby mad one in particular) but I always resisted, even when I was pregnant last year I chose not to tune in as I thought it would either annoy me or scare me.
Babies change you in every possible way - and now I regular tune in and am frequently moved to tears. Yes, some of the coupleS annoy me and I have to wonder what sort of person allows this event to be broadcast on national TV, and the VT bits about how they met, etc, really irritate me, but on the whole I love the show. It is amazing to actually see someone give birth - as when you do it you don't actually get to see a lot. Stand-out moments for me have been....
Anyway I think OBEM is an amazing programme - compulsive viewing definitely, so I was quite looking forward to watching the special 'One Year On', particularly as the three couples on it all had babies who are now nine months old, the same age as Maya.
My goodness, it was really eye-opening and once again made me truly thankful for what a good baby Maya is. None of the couple had any form of routine in their lives - something we have had in place for the best part of six months now - feeding was a nightmare and they were all still getting up several times in the night. Now Maya doesn't always sleep through but she does usually - she goes to be between 7 and 7.30 and we don't usually hear a peep from her until 6am. Admittedly that's earlier than I would choose to get up but so much better than getting up during the night!
None of them took their babies anywhere or did anything with them. We have just had a few days away in North Norfolk - Maya was fantastic throughout. She slept well in the cot bed, ate all her meals well, allowed us to eat lunch out twice (although was a bit tired and grizzly through one following a knackering hour long swim - but that was our fault entirely) and absolutely loved being in her new rucksack. The whole time she was smiling and giggling and gibbering away like a monkey - completely different to the grizzly cry babies in on the show.
I feel at times that I am a crap mum who copes very badly with many aspects of motherhood (eg. the sickness bug that wiped Maya and I out last week and resulted in James having to take several days off work to look after Maya as I couldn't), but seeing these families made me feel so much better, the babies really seemed to be so much younger than Maya and much harder work. It made me realise that I am actually doing an alright job and Maya is developing into an amazing little person - so we must be doing something right!!!
Babies change you in every possible way - and now I regular tune in and am frequently moved to tears. Yes, some of the coupleS annoy me and I have to wonder what sort of person allows this event to be broadcast on national TV, and the VT bits about how they met, etc, really irritate me, but on the whole I love the show. It is amazing to actually see someone give birth - as when you do it you don't actually get to see a lot. Stand-out moments for me have been....
- The young woman from this week whose partner had decided he didn't want anything to do with her and the baby, she was lovely and will make an amazing mum;
- The woman whose baby literally flew out!
- The 16 year old whose baby arrived 10 weeks early and how amazingly she coped with being in hospital for so long, and how sad it was that she didn't get to hold her baby until her 17th birthday.
- The birth which was just like mine - everything going ok then slows down to nothing and the forceps are whipped out - was pretty shocked to see just how hard the midwives were pulling the baby, and even more shocked when James said that I was dragged down the bed.
- The horrific scenes when one baby got stuck and they had to break its shoulder to get it out, and then watching its lifeless body as they tried (and thankfully succeeded) to bring it round. Truly the most harrowing thing I have ever seen.
Anyway I think OBEM is an amazing programme - compulsive viewing definitely, so I was quite looking forward to watching the special 'One Year On', particularly as the three couples on it all had babies who are now nine months old, the same age as Maya.
My goodness, it was really eye-opening and once again made me truly thankful for what a good baby Maya is. None of the couple had any form of routine in their lives - something we have had in place for the best part of six months now - feeding was a nightmare and they were all still getting up several times in the night. Now Maya doesn't always sleep through but she does usually - she goes to be between 7 and 7.30 and we don't usually hear a peep from her until 6am. Admittedly that's earlier than I would choose to get up but so much better than getting up during the night!
None of them took their babies anywhere or did anything with them. We have just had a few days away in North Norfolk - Maya was fantastic throughout. She slept well in the cot bed, ate all her meals well, allowed us to eat lunch out twice (although was a bit tired and grizzly through one following a knackering hour long swim - but that was our fault entirely) and absolutely loved being in her new rucksack. The whole time she was smiling and giggling and gibbering away like a monkey - completely different to the grizzly cry babies in on the show.
I feel at times that I am a crap mum who copes very badly with many aspects of motherhood (eg. the sickness bug that wiped Maya and I out last week and resulted in James having to take several days off work to look after Maya as I couldn't), but seeing these families made me feel so much better, the babies really seemed to be so much younger than Maya and much harder work. It made me realise that I am actually doing an alright job and Maya is developing into an amazing little person - so we must be doing something right!!!
Tuesday, 20 March 2012
A different person...
My dad John, has always been a man's man - not especially in touch with his feminine side and finds it hard to express his emotions. Or so I thought throughout my formative years.
How times change...
Over the last few years I have seen him cry at both mine and my sister's weddings, whilst delivering speeches which have everyone reaching for their tissues. I have come to realise that he is emotional about things that really matter - his family. My dad couldn't be more proud of my sister and I - and neither of us are remarkable in our achievements.
He married very young and had two kids by his early 20s - and when this all fell apart he missed out on them growing up. Our half-sisters are horrible people, they only contact Dad when they want/need something, are always bickering over something (despite being in their 40s) and made it almost impossible for Dad to have any sort of relationship with them.
They are stupid, and are missing out on so much. He will do anything for us (and for most people infact).
Last year when Maya was born we saw a completely different side to Dad. He tried hard to hide his tears when he held her for the first time, but we could see that he was completely in love with her already. Since his retirement we has spent at least one day a week with her, and is always showering her with gifts - if it's not a big noisy toy, it's a beautiful outfit or something to eat. We tell him not to, but it gives him a huge amount of pleasure to spoil her.
Don't get me wrong, Mum is also fantastic with Maya - but we knew she would be. Dad, however, was another kettle of fish. Tonight (whilst mum is in hospital recovering from a knee replacement) Dad came and had his dinner with us, and he fed Maya her tea and gave her her bath - if you had told me this would happen last year - I wouldn't have believed you!
The amazing thing about babies - whilst they can test your patience and allow your worst side to say hello to the world (usually as you are so sleep deprived) - they bring out the absolute best in you and everyone close to them.
How times change...
Over the last few years I have seen him cry at both mine and my sister's weddings, whilst delivering speeches which have everyone reaching for their tissues. I have come to realise that he is emotional about things that really matter - his family. My dad couldn't be more proud of my sister and I - and neither of us are remarkable in our achievements.
He married very young and had two kids by his early 20s - and when this all fell apart he missed out on them growing up. Our half-sisters are horrible people, they only contact Dad when they want/need something, are always bickering over something (despite being in their 40s) and made it almost impossible for Dad to have any sort of relationship with them.
They are stupid, and are missing out on so much. He will do anything for us (and for most people infact).
Last year when Maya was born we saw a completely different side to Dad. He tried hard to hide his tears when he held her for the first time, but we could see that he was completely in love with her already. Since his retirement we has spent at least one day a week with her, and is always showering her with gifts - if it's not a big noisy toy, it's a beautiful outfit or something to eat. We tell him not to, but it gives him a huge amount of pleasure to spoil her.
Don't get me wrong, Mum is also fantastic with Maya - but we knew she would be. Dad, however, was another kettle of fish. Tonight (whilst mum is in hospital recovering from a knee replacement) Dad came and had his dinner with us, and he fed Maya her tea and gave her her bath - if you had told me this would happen last year - I wouldn't have believed you!
The amazing thing about babies - whilst they can test your patience and allow your worst side to say hello to the world (usually as you are so sleep deprived) - they bring out the absolute best in you and everyone close to them.
Happy mothers day!
So did us first time mummies have a fabulous mothers day this year?
Well according to Facebook and Twitter most of my friends certainly did. Unfortunately I did not....
It's been an odd fortnight - once again Maya has been ill - babies seem to collect colds like they are going out of fashion! She has been a grumpy ball of snot and even whinged all the way around the zoo the other day - something she normally squeals with delight at. Nights have been spent coughing like a tramp so sleep has not been readily available - which has not helped cope with a grumpy baby. She even went mental in the doctors surgery the other day - usually she prefers to portray a vision of optimum health when we visit the GP in order to make me look like a mental overprotective time waster.
Anyway towards the end of last week things were looking up, she loved her swimming lesson, enjoyed being the centre of attention at a picnic when all the other babies were having a nap and slept through on several nights.
However, in the early hours of Sunday morning she decided that sleeping through wasn't for her - and she wasn't going to cooperate in light of it being Mother's day. So we were up nice and early - around 6.30 - and by 7 she was all smiles and enjoying eating the wrapping paper my presents came in. Morning nap time seemed fine, but late morning, just after I had made the effort to put a dress on and straighten my hair, she decided to turn into a devil baby. She screamed throughout her lunch - which we were hoping would be a speedy affair as we had a 1pm reservation at Bencotto (one of my most favourite places to eat - and one I was so looking forward to celebrating my first mother's day in).
By 12.45 we realised that lunch wasn't going to happen, as Maya would not stop screaming - she was going properly mental (which luckily we don't see very often). I was so upset and in the end spent my mother's day lunchtime, storming out as I couldn't listen to her anymore, sitting at the bus stop before just walking around in tears. I was really angry that because I was wearing a dress - and I was so fucking cold that I had to go home - she was still screaming and refusing to be put down for a sleep. I felt really upset - surely as a mum you should be allowed just one day when you are the centre of attention? I felt angry and frustrated - you give up so much when you choose to have a baby and just wanted this day to be special. I actually spent a bit of the day wondering why I had bothered and longing for my life before.
Of course once I had calmed down (which did eventually happen, after a ridiculous amount of sobbing), I realised that Maya hadn't done any of it on purpose, it was just one of those things. She is normally so good when we take her out - so we didn't think for one minute that our special day wouldn't go to plan. Anyway of course I felt horrendous for thinking/saying the things I had - and made sure I took time to reflect on how lucky I am....
...and I am fully aware of this. Maya is perfect in every way. She is beautiful, full of smiles and amazes me every single day. I have spent time over the last week with people who have reinforced this - someone who had a miscarriage a few days after Maya was born and someone very close to me who has been waiting several weeks to see if her unborn baby has Downs - thankfully it doesn't. We should always remember that babies never plan to make us unhappy, and actually when I really consider it she makes me happy 99% of the time and I wouldn't change anything about her. Next time when I am feeling hard done by and irrational I will just need to remember that I am fucking lucky and need to get over myself!
Well according to Facebook and Twitter most of my friends certainly did. Unfortunately I did not....
It's been an odd fortnight - once again Maya has been ill - babies seem to collect colds like they are going out of fashion! She has been a grumpy ball of snot and even whinged all the way around the zoo the other day - something she normally squeals with delight at. Nights have been spent coughing like a tramp so sleep has not been readily available - which has not helped cope with a grumpy baby. She even went mental in the doctors surgery the other day - usually she prefers to portray a vision of optimum health when we visit the GP in order to make me look like a mental overprotective time waster.
Anyway towards the end of last week things were looking up, she loved her swimming lesson, enjoyed being the centre of attention at a picnic when all the other babies were having a nap and slept through on several nights.
However, in the early hours of Sunday morning she decided that sleeping through wasn't for her - and she wasn't going to cooperate in light of it being Mother's day. So we were up nice and early - around 6.30 - and by 7 she was all smiles and enjoying eating the wrapping paper my presents came in. Morning nap time seemed fine, but late morning, just after I had made the effort to put a dress on and straighten my hair, she decided to turn into a devil baby. She screamed throughout her lunch - which we were hoping would be a speedy affair as we had a 1pm reservation at Bencotto (one of my most favourite places to eat - and one I was so looking forward to celebrating my first mother's day in).
By 12.45 we realised that lunch wasn't going to happen, as Maya would not stop screaming - she was going properly mental (which luckily we don't see very often). I was so upset and in the end spent my mother's day lunchtime, storming out as I couldn't listen to her anymore, sitting at the bus stop before just walking around in tears. I was really angry that because I was wearing a dress - and I was so fucking cold that I had to go home - she was still screaming and refusing to be put down for a sleep. I felt really upset - surely as a mum you should be allowed just one day when you are the centre of attention? I felt angry and frustrated - you give up so much when you choose to have a baby and just wanted this day to be special. I actually spent a bit of the day wondering why I had bothered and longing for my life before.
Of course once I had calmed down (which did eventually happen, after a ridiculous amount of sobbing), I realised that Maya hadn't done any of it on purpose, it was just one of those things. She is normally so good when we take her out - so we didn't think for one minute that our special day wouldn't go to plan. Anyway of course I felt horrendous for thinking/saying the things I had - and made sure I took time to reflect on how lucky I am....
...and I am fully aware of this. Maya is perfect in every way. She is beautiful, full of smiles and amazes me every single day. I have spent time over the last week with people who have reinforced this - someone who had a miscarriage a few days after Maya was born and someone very close to me who has been waiting several weeks to see if her unborn baby has Downs - thankfully it doesn't. We should always remember that babies never plan to make us unhappy, and actually when I really consider it she makes me happy 99% of the time and I wouldn't change anything about her. Next time when I am feeling hard done by and irrational I will just need to remember that I am fucking lucky and need to get over myself!
Friday, 2 March 2012
Another week of highbrow activities...
So chicken pox has finally left the building, although we now think that Maya also had hand, foot and mouth - as I got it too! I discovered this late last week after we had bene in quarantine (and getting very bored I might add - who knew you could miss singing in the library so much?!). My hands felt like I had constant pins and needles and the soles of my feet were burning as if I had been dancing the night away in inappropriate footwear - chance would be a fine thing! Another delightful trip to the GP confirmed my fears, and stated that Maya could actually have both conditions at once. He also patronisingly pointed out that it wasn't related to the disease that affects livestock! Luckily I only had a very mild bout - much less severe than the scaremongering on NHS Choices had led me to believe. Her bout of chicken pox was also relatively mild, making me now wonder whether she actually had it at all or was it just hand, foot and mouth. Everyone says it was chicken pox due to the scabs - but I guess we'll never know. Next time we come across a baby with it Maya will be forced to spend some time with them just to be sure!
Anyway this week was back to normal, with one noticeable exception - the lovely weather. This has been a week of sun and no need for a big coat, I even managed to hang some washing out - such a sad thing to get excited about!
Maya and I have been walking all over the place. After I had her I was delighted to discover that I actually weighed less than before I got pregnant. Unfortunately after almost eight months of eating loads and using the breastfeeding excuse (which ran out three months ago) I think I have almost piled it all back on. Now by no means will I be starring on any sensitively titled Channel 4 documentaries in the future or have just my arse filmed by a news reporter as I walk down the high street, but as I did manage to lose that weight last night, it would be nice to do it again. I would also like to start running, but am fully aware that I do not have the commitment to probably even start this one!
So I am hoping that if I keep walking all over the place I might get a bit fitter. I am also trying to eat cake less often. Failed today after some delicious lemon cake in Costa (well, I did miss breakfast!). Monday was just a gentle stroll up to the Murray Road play area. Not the nicest of play areas but does have baby swings so it kept us busy for half an hour or so. On Tuesday we walked over 4 miles with the buggy - Maya and I had a little trip to the play area in Holywells Park to go to the play area, then after a quick rest at home we got Paddy and headed out again. This time a big loop around Murray Road and Landseer Parks - both Paddy and I were wiped out by the end of the afternoon. Maya was not.
Wednesday saw us getting back into our normal baby activities - we kicked off with singing in the library at Woodbridge, followed by a trip to the play area, lunch outside a cafe, a reasonably long walk along the river, two hours of fresh air in the garden and then another trip to the play area in Holywells Park. Lots of walking for me! We were hoping the fresh air would mean a full night's sleep for her. No - it was the worse night for ages as Maya had a filthy cold and woke constantly. Still I chose to ignore her snuffles and took her swimming on Thursday - which she loved - I was worried she would have forgotten everything as we haven't been for weeks. We had lunch with friends and then another walk to find the swings on the Grange Farm.
Today the weather turned and we were back in our winter finery, so probably a bad day to head to a cold damp Felixstowe! A big trot up and down the high street (several times, as I don't know where anything is!) was all we could manage in terms of walking today. The highlight of the day probably was sitting in the tiny reading boat in Felixstowe with Maya!
At times I feel that my old life seems a million miles away and all I seem to do is washing, ironing and cleaning up poo, and wonder how I will cope when I am back in the classroom and leading my department, but when the sun is out maternity leave seems the best thing in the world and despite the really crap pay I could do it forever! So hopefully getting out and about in the fresh air and walking my socks off will start showing some results...
Anyway this week was back to normal, with one noticeable exception - the lovely weather. This has been a week of sun and no need for a big coat, I even managed to hang some washing out - such a sad thing to get excited about!
Maya and I have been walking all over the place. After I had her I was delighted to discover that I actually weighed less than before I got pregnant. Unfortunately after almost eight months of eating loads and using the breastfeeding excuse (which ran out three months ago) I think I have almost piled it all back on. Now by no means will I be starring on any sensitively titled Channel 4 documentaries in the future or have just my arse filmed by a news reporter as I walk down the high street, but as I did manage to lose that weight last night, it would be nice to do it again. I would also like to start running, but am fully aware that I do not have the commitment to probably even start this one!
So I am hoping that if I keep walking all over the place I might get a bit fitter. I am also trying to eat cake less often. Failed today after some delicious lemon cake in Costa (well, I did miss breakfast!). Monday was just a gentle stroll up to the Murray Road play area. Not the nicest of play areas but does have baby swings so it kept us busy for half an hour or so. On Tuesday we walked over 4 miles with the buggy - Maya and I had a little trip to the play area in Holywells Park to go to the play area, then after a quick rest at home we got Paddy and headed out again. This time a big loop around Murray Road and Landseer Parks - both Paddy and I were wiped out by the end of the afternoon. Maya was not.
Wednesday saw us getting back into our normal baby activities - we kicked off with singing in the library at Woodbridge, followed by a trip to the play area, lunch outside a cafe, a reasonably long walk along the river, two hours of fresh air in the garden and then another trip to the play area in Holywells Park. Lots of walking for me! We were hoping the fresh air would mean a full night's sleep for her. No - it was the worse night for ages as Maya had a filthy cold and woke constantly. Still I chose to ignore her snuffles and took her swimming on Thursday - which she loved - I was worried she would have forgotten everything as we haven't been for weeks. We had lunch with friends and then another walk to find the swings on the Grange Farm.
Today the weather turned and we were back in our winter finery, so probably a bad day to head to a cold damp Felixstowe! A big trot up and down the high street (several times, as I don't know where anything is!) was all we could manage in terms of walking today. The highlight of the day probably was sitting in the tiny reading boat in Felixstowe with Maya!
At times I feel that my old life seems a million miles away and all I seem to do is washing, ironing and cleaning up poo, and wonder how I will cope when I am back in the classroom and leading my department, but when the sun is out maternity leave seems the best thing in the world and despite the really crap pay I could do it forever! So hopefully getting out and about in the fresh air and walking my socks off will start showing some results...
Monday, 20 February 2012
Grotty spotty...
The pox has invaded our house...
So Saturday night was one of the most miserable nights of my life. Maya has been a little unsettled over the last few days, woke up at 4am on Friday and 5am on Saturday, so sleep has not been on tap in our house and we are looking rough! Saturday night was a totally different kettle of fish though - the little minx tricked us into thinking we would be having a good night by settling straight away and sleeping til her late feed. However a bottle of milk later saw screams echoing through the house. Maya screamed the house down from 11pm until 2.20pm. We tried everything, rocking her to sleep and settling her back in her cot, cuddling her to sleep in our bed and even offering another feed (something we have not done since she was three months old). But nothing worked. She was happy to sit up but once we laid her down she screamed bloody murder. It was hideous - I had had no sleep and James had only had about half an hour so we were feeling crap enough anyway without having to cope with all the screaming. In the end we resorted to putting her in the buggy where she did sleep from 2.20am until 5.15am, which was something.
Unfortunately throughout the night by car alarm was also randomly going off for no reason at all - and decided to do it again at 2.40am - we had been asleep for all of 10 minutes. James trotted out in his dressing car, left the car unlocked and rolled his into position in front of it to prevent anyone stealing the car!
From 5.30am onwards we bought Maya into our bed and tried to settle her again, which didn't really work. However I did then spot the spots! At first I thought she had got hand, foot and mouth, as her little friends have had it over the last week. But they didn't seem to be suffering with it, whereas Maya had a high temperature, a poorly tummy and was obviously in lots of discomfort. When a more decent hour of the morning came round I changed her nappy and spotted all the horrible blisters on her bottom, spots just seemed to be multiplying but she also had a rash all over her stomach.
As usual Maya had got ill over the weekend so once again we had to call upon the out-of-hours GP service. Anyone who has used this will know that it is rubbish and staffed entirely by idiots. So before 8am we were on the phone trying to get an appointment at the Riverside Clinic (one of my least favourite places in the world!). We waited ages to get through and then had to relay all of the details to a man with limited intelligence, who I am quite convinced could barely read, as he was asking all of the inane questions so slowly. It took ages to give him our details - which we had to keep repeating - the service is so frustrating. He then told us there would be a significant delay in the time it took a clinician to get back to us - but couldn't give any indication of what this might be, but would probably not be within an hour. Usually you then don't get an appointment until several hours later, which is then always running really late anyway as they give the same appointment slot to three different patients, so we knew Maya wouldn't get seen until the afternoon. I got very cross with him (apparently babies are not a priority!) and he suggested we should take her to A&E instead.
James took Maya out with him and Paddy for 20 minutes or so, just so she would get a little sleep, as we figured she would be very grumpy at the hospital without it. By 9.30am we got to the hospital and were quickly taken through to the children's emergency ward where we were seen by a triage nurse immediately. Straight away she spotted it was chicken pox but needed to confirm with a doctor, the diagnosis meant we had to stay in the private room rather than return to the waiting ara, so she wouldn't infect anyone else. Maya was great throughout, and once we had the diagnosis confirmed we were given some medicine and were on our way - and home by 11am. This would have never happened at the Riverside Clinic!
Maya was grumpy throughout yesterday whilst more and more spots erupted. However her combination of medicines (paracetamol, ibuprofen and piriton) seemed to do the trick - she was asleep very quickly last night and slept until just after 11pm as normal. We had already had three hours sleep at this point as we went to bed ridiculously early in expectation of another miserable night. After a quick feed laced with medicine she was straight back to sleep - which is better than normal! However she woke again just before 2am, once again she went straight back down after rocking for a few minutes. But before 2.30am she rolled over and woke herself up, at this point she wouldn't go back to sleep - we took it in turns to settle her but she was getting more and more awake and had started to cry.
At 3am we gave up and tried to get her to sleep in our bed. She was very unsettled to begin with so we kicked James out so he would get sleep before school. However within a few minutes she had calmed right down and was asleep within 10 minutes, and then slept until just after 6. When she woke up we saw a much smilier happier baby than yesterday who seemed to be coping very well, despite even more spots coming over night.
This morning has been a good one, she played happily in bed for an hour or so while I watched the TV, bounced merrily in Tigger while I showered and got dressed and ate breakfast well. Piriton has knocked her out nicely and she has been napping for an hour and a half - she normally humours me with about 20-30 minutes in the morning!
So yesterday I feared the worst - I was annoyed it had happened this week instead of last when James was at home to help, and was expecting a week of non-stop crying (from us both!) and massive frustration as we can't do our normal activities in case she spreads it to other babies. But hopefully she has started as she means to go on and we can embrace this 'stay at home' week as a lazy and relaxing one!
We'll see...
So Saturday night was one of the most miserable nights of my life. Maya has been a little unsettled over the last few days, woke up at 4am on Friday and 5am on Saturday, so sleep has not been on tap in our house and we are looking rough! Saturday night was a totally different kettle of fish though - the little minx tricked us into thinking we would be having a good night by settling straight away and sleeping til her late feed. However a bottle of milk later saw screams echoing through the house. Maya screamed the house down from 11pm until 2.20pm. We tried everything, rocking her to sleep and settling her back in her cot, cuddling her to sleep in our bed and even offering another feed (something we have not done since she was three months old). But nothing worked. She was happy to sit up but once we laid her down she screamed bloody murder. It was hideous - I had had no sleep and James had only had about half an hour so we were feeling crap enough anyway without having to cope with all the screaming. In the end we resorted to putting her in the buggy where she did sleep from 2.20am until 5.15am, which was something.
Unfortunately throughout the night by car alarm was also randomly going off for no reason at all - and decided to do it again at 2.40am - we had been asleep for all of 10 minutes. James trotted out in his dressing car, left the car unlocked and rolled his into position in front of it to prevent anyone stealing the car!
From 5.30am onwards we bought Maya into our bed and tried to settle her again, which didn't really work. However I did then spot the spots! At first I thought she had got hand, foot and mouth, as her little friends have had it over the last week. But they didn't seem to be suffering with it, whereas Maya had a high temperature, a poorly tummy and was obviously in lots of discomfort. When a more decent hour of the morning came round I changed her nappy and spotted all the horrible blisters on her bottom, spots just seemed to be multiplying but she also had a rash all over her stomach.
As usual Maya had got ill over the weekend so once again we had to call upon the out-of-hours GP service. Anyone who has used this will know that it is rubbish and staffed entirely by idiots. So before 8am we were on the phone trying to get an appointment at the Riverside Clinic (one of my least favourite places in the world!). We waited ages to get through and then had to relay all of the details to a man with limited intelligence, who I am quite convinced could barely read, as he was asking all of the inane questions so slowly. It took ages to give him our details - which we had to keep repeating - the service is so frustrating. He then told us there would be a significant delay in the time it took a clinician to get back to us - but couldn't give any indication of what this might be, but would probably not be within an hour. Usually you then don't get an appointment until several hours later, which is then always running really late anyway as they give the same appointment slot to three different patients, so we knew Maya wouldn't get seen until the afternoon. I got very cross with him (apparently babies are not a priority!) and he suggested we should take her to A&E instead.
James took Maya out with him and Paddy for 20 minutes or so, just so she would get a little sleep, as we figured she would be very grumpy at the hospital without it. By 9.30am we got to the hospital and were quickly taken through to the children's emergency ward where we were seen by a triage nurse immediately. Straight away she spotted it was chicken pox but needed to confirm with a doctor, the diagnosis meant we had to stay in the private room rather than return to the waiting ara, so she wouldn't infect anyone else. Maya was great throughout, and once we had the diagnosis confirmed we were given some medicine and were on our way - and home by 11am. This would have never happened at the Riverside Clinic!
Maya was grumpy throughout yesterday whilst more and more spots erupted. However her combination of medicines (paracetamol, ibuprofen and piriton) seemed to do the trick - she was asleep very quickly last night and slept until just after 11pm as normal. We had already had three hours sleep at this point as we went to bed ridiculously early in expectation of another miserable night. After a quick feed laced with medicine she was straight back to sleep - which is better than normal! However she woke again just before 2am, once again she went straight back down after rocking for a few minutes. But before 2.30am she rolled over and woke herself up, at this point she wouldn't go back to sleep - we took it in turns to settle her but she was getting more and more awake and had started to cry.
At 3am we gave up and tried to get her to sleep in our bed. She was very unsettled to begin with so we kicked James out so he would get sleep before school. However within a few minutes she had calmed right down and was asleep within 10 minutes, and then slept until just after 6. When she woke up we saw a much smilier happier baby than yesterday who seemed to be coping very well, despite even more spots coming over night.
This morning has been a good one, she played happily in bed for an hour or so while I watched the TV, bounced merrily in Tigger while I showered and got dressed and ate breakfast well. Piriton has knocked her out nicely and she has been napping for an hour and a half - she normally humours me with about 20-30 minutes in the morning!
So yesterday I feared the worst - I was annoyed it had happened this week instead of last when James was at home to help, and was expecting a week of non-stop crying (from us both!) and massive frustration as we can't do our normal activities in case she spreads it to other babies. But hopefully she has started as she means to go on and we can embrace this 'stay at home' week as a lazy and relaxing one!
We'll see...
Sunday, 19 February 2012
We're going to the zoo zoo zoo...
So we have become one of those families who buys a pass to a local attraction - something I never thought we would do. We are now proud owners of Colchester Zoo Platinum Passes - two years of unlimited entry to the zoo (and at a discounted rate - can't be bad).
Anyway it turns out that this may be the best £120 we've spent in terms of baby entertainment. Maya loved the zoo!!!!! And for us it is a great afternoon out - half an hour or so to get there after lunch means Maya has a sleep in the car, a couple of hours wandering at a leisurely pace around the zoo (obviously don't need to see the whole place in one day), and the journey home for more enforced sleep.
Watching her stare so intently at the sealions swimming over head, talking to the penguins through a window and laughing huge dirty chuckles at the spider monkeys made for a very enjoyable afternoon indeed! Which I imagine will become even better the older she gets - although we are definitely investing in some reigns for when she's on her feet as the place is like a maze!
My only criticism is the lack of parent parking - there are well over 50 disabled parking spaces which were completely full. I am pretty sure that there are not that many disabled people at the zoo on a cold winter afternoon - so I imagine many families are opting to take Grandad's car to the zoo to get the best parking space!
Anyway it turns out that this may be the best £120 we've spent in terms of baby entertainment. Maya loved the zoo!!!!! And for us it is a great afternoon out - half an hour or so to get there after lunch means Maya has a sleep in the car, a couple of hours wandering at a leisurely pace around the zoo (obviously don't need to see the whole place in one day), and the journey home for more enforced sleep.
Watching her stare so intently at the sealions swimming over head, talking to the penguins through a window and laughing huge dirty chuckles at the spider monkeys made for a very enjoyable afternoon indeed! Which I imagine will become even better the older she gets - although we are definitely investing in some reigns for when she's on her feet as the place is like a maze!
My only criticism is the lack of parent parking - there are well over 50 disabled parking spaces which were completely full. I am pretty sure that there are not that many disabled people at the zoo on a cold winter afternoon - so I imagine many families are opting to take Grandad's car to the zoo to get the best parking space!
I'm going out with just a handbag....
I always thought I would be the type of mum who was relaxed (don't know why as I'm not about anything else) and would happily leave her baby with other people, but for a while it seemed this was not the case.
Back in the summer holidays over a lunch with my new mum friends I was surprised to learn that one of them had left her little boy with his grandparents when he was six weeks old for a weekend away, and two of them were planning a couple of weeks minus babies in Las Vegas next summer. At this stage I had just left Maya for an hour to get her registered. Our birthdays and wedding anniversary had dribbled past without much effort to celebrate. We had a quiet family BBQ for my birthday, lunch in a cafe and a pint in Isaacs (with Maya) for James' and although we planned to go out for the evening to celebrate our wedding anniversary when it came down to it I just didn't want to go.
In fact for the first few months I barely left Maya at all and when I did it was for nothing remotely interesting - a trip to the vets with Paddy, a quick trip to Sainsburys, etc. I did venture out on the work Christmas meal (which was pretty rubbish) but wouldn't let James come as I didn't want to spend my first night away worrying about leaving her with someone else. When Maya was six months old we took the plunge and had a night out without her, much needed as James and I were arguing quite a bit and really needed to spend some time together. We booked a table at Kwon Thai and went out early for a couple of drinks beforehand. Unfortunately service was so quick in the restaurant that we were actually completely finished by 8.45pm and we didn't want to go for anymore drinks as we would inevitably have to get up in the night for Maya. Maya was very good though for my sister which was great, although she laughed at our pathetic early arrival home! A week later we were invited out with friends to Passage to India - so we called upon Sharon for more babysitting duties and promised not to be home so early. We had a great night catching up with friends and ate lots of lovely food and rolled in after 11pm - much more successful.
One of the most annoying about babies is all the paraphenalia that has to accompany them when you leave the house. My change bag is huge, the car seat really heavy, and the pushchair absolutely enormous and difficult to manouvre around shops (although my second little one is not too bad), and we have become very familiar with Ipswich's lifts (both customer and goods). It is often embarrassing to have to rearrange half a cafe or restaurant in order to accommodate babies and buggies. And walking Maya and Paddy together is a nightmare as he runs off or keeps stopping in front of the buggy.
Recently I have overcome my need to be with Maya all of the time - as she is quite happy to be left with others. A couple of weeks ago five of us, who normally meet up and go out together with babies, decided that we were having a night out without them. We only opted for Pizza Express but did plan to go for a few drinks along the Waterfront afterwards. I embraced it as a big night out (even though it wasn't) and went into town that afternoon to buy something new to wear (a dark blue dress with polka dots), straightened my hair and got the heels out - although then changed my mind and put on some slightly more sensible shoes as it was very cold and icy! It was a fun night, plenty of wine was drank - although poor Hannah was unwell and had to go home, and it was lovely to kick back and relax without having to think about feeding babies, changing nappies and generally keeping them from disturbing everyone else. We did talk about babies a lot, which I guess is to be expected as that is what our friendship is based on, and the highlight of the conversation was Rachel revealing that she'd pooed her pants!
Last week I took this a step further, and went out for the day with Hannah and Caroline to celebrate/commiserate the end of Hannah's maternity leave. We had a lovely morning relaxing in Aqua Springs in Colchester (which is full of wrinkly and saggy old people - not quite the luxury spa image) and then went for lunch in a lovely tea shop in Dedham before wandering around a few shops. I found it very easy to leave Maya for the day as she had been up for many hours the night before so I was going along with only four hours of sleep under my belt. The day was lovely and Maya had a good day with James - in fact she was so good that he managed to clean the whole house - something that I never do!!
It was great to get out and have a few hours to myself - something I am going to need to make more of an effort to do, especially as from now on it will be just me and Maya much more often as Hannah, Rachael and Karen have all gone back to work and Caroline has put Mags into nursery on our usual day together. Maybe I will have to start making some new friends....
Back in the summer holidays over a lunch with my new mum friends I was surprised to learn that one of them had left her little boy with his grandparents when he was six weeks old for a weekend away, and two of them were planning a couple of weeks minus babies in Las Vegas next summer. At this stage I had just left Maya for an hour to get her registered. Our birthdays and wedding anniversary had dribbled past without much effort to celebrate. We had a quiet family BBQ for my birthday, lunch in a cafe and a pint in Isaacs (with Maya) for James' and although we planned to go out for the evening to celebrate our wedding anniversary when it came down to it I just didn't want to go.
In fact for the first few months I barely left Maya at all and when I did it was for nothing remotely interesting - a trip to the vets with Paddy, a quick trip to Sainsburys, etc. I did venture out on the work Christmas meal (which was pretty rubbish) but wouldn't let James come as I didn't want to spend my first night away worrying about leaving her with someone else. When Maya was six months old we took the plunge and had a night out without her, much needed as James and I were arguing quite a bit and really needed to spend some time together. We booked a table at Kwon Thai and went out early for a couple of drinks beforehand. Unfortunately service was so quick in the restaurant that we were actually completely finished by 8.45pm and we didn't want to go for anymore drinks as we would inevitably have to get up in the night for Maya. Maya was very good though for my sister which was great, although she laughed at our pathetic early arrival home! A week later we were invited out with friends to Passage to India - so we called upon Sharon for more babysitting duties and promised not to be home so early. We had a great night catching up with friends and ate lots of lovely food and rolled in after 11pm - much more successful.
One of the most annoying about babies is all the paraphenalia that has to accompany them when you leave the house. My change bag is huge, the car seat really heavy, and the pushchair absolutely enormous and difficult to manouvre around shops (although my second little one is not too bad), and we have become very familiar with Ipswich's lifts (both customer and goods). It is often embarrassing to have to rearrange half a cafe or restaurant in order to accommodate babies and buggies. And walking Maya and Paddy together is a nightmare as he runs off or keeps stopping in front of the buggy.
Recently I have overcome my need to be with Maya all of the time - as she is quite happy to be left with others. A couple of weeks ago five of us, who normally meet up and go out together with babies, decided that we were having a night out without them. We only opted for Pizza Express but did plan to go for a few drinks along the Waterfront afterwards. I embraced it as a big night out (even though it wasn't) and went into town that afternoon to buy something new to wear (a dark blue dress with polka dots), straightened my hair and got the heels out - although then changed my mind and put on some slightly more sensible shoes as it was very cold and icy! It was a fun night, plenty of wine was drank - although poor Hannah was unwell and had to go home, and it was lovely to kick back and relax without having to think about feeding babies, changing nappies and generally keeping them from disturbing everyone else. We did talk about babies a lot, which I guess is to be expected as that is what our friendship is based on, and the highlight of the conversation was Rachel revealing that she'd pooed her pants!
Last week I took this a step further, and went out for the day with Hannah and Caroline to celebrate/commiserate the end of Hannah's maternity leave. We had a lovely morning relaxing in Aqua Springs in Colchester (which is full of wrinkly and saggy old people - not quite the luxury spa image) and then went for lunch in a lovely tea shop in Dedham before wandering around a few shops. I found it very easy to leave Maya for the day as she had been up for many hours the night before so I was going along with only four hours of sleep under my belt. The day was lovely and Maya had a good day with James - in fact she was so good that he managed to clean the whole house - something that I never do!!
It was great to get out and have a few hours to myself - something I am going to need to make more of an effort to do, especially as from now on it will be just me and Maya much more often as Hannah, Rachael and Karen have all gone back to work and Caroline has put Mags into nursery on our usual day together. Maybe I will have to start making some new friends....
Saturday, 18 February 2012
Mixing with a different type of parent....
Last autumn I signed up for the free Baby Massage course at the Ormiston Centre. I did this for two reasons:
(1) Maya had bad colic at the time and I hoped massage would help alleviate this.
(2) It was free - we were already doing Lazy Daisy baby classes and swimming every week so our weekly outlay was around £30 when I factored in lunch, coffee, cake, etc.
Unfortunately we didn't get a place on the course as it was oversubscribed. This pissed me off as I have seen many of the mums at the Ormiston Centre and I imagined that the course would be really busy the first week, and then several would decide not to bother to go again. Whereas I knew we would value that place. I was doubly annoyed as the Incredible Babies course, which sounded really interesting and was all about development up to six months, was also full.
After Christmas I received a phone call saying that the next Baby Massage course was about to start and would I like a place. I said yes straight away and was looking forward to taking Maya there, although I declined the place they offered me on the Incredible Babies course as I didn't feel we'd get much out of it now Maya was over six months old.
So Tuesday afternoon we trotted along to the Ormiston Centre. I was way out of my comfort zone as over the last few months Maya and I have been going to (relatively expensive) classes that cater to the middle class parent, and even the free Baby Bounce sessions are at Woodbridge so we never mix with the types of parents that frequent the Sure Start centres. I am usually the poor relation with my 08 Renault Scenic in comparison to the Audi brigade!
The class was an odd mix - there were a few mums who were with their second child, one who didn't know she was pregnant until almost the third trimester (and she was a teacher!), a mouthy woman dressed head to toe in leopard print, a teenage mum living in a shelter and a mousy woman who was accompanied by her partner and his overbearing mother who kept shouting out and telling her what to do.
The course lasted five weeks, and each session kicked off with an ice breaker introduction. The first week we had to say who we were and why we had chosen our baby's name. My favourite was leopard print woman whose baby had a really stupid name - because she had unwisely let her eight year old son pick it. FFS!!! Another session we had to say what our favourite colour was and why! And the last session we had to say what we most liked about being a mum - Maya had been a right pain that day so I had to bite my tongue and be positive!
The massage techniques were okay, not taught especially well but good for a free course. Each session was 25 minutes massage followed by half an hour or so of chatting about issues that were concerning us. I didn't really want to stay for that part but felt it was rude to just get up and go. It was particularly unhelpful for us as Maya was the oldest by quite a way so all of the issues worrying the other mums were no longer affecting us. In the end I seemed to be answering all the questions, talking about our experiences and worrying that I was dominating the sessions and being viewed as the snotty know-it-all! The last couple of weeks were hard work as Maya spent the entire sessions rolling over and trying to crawl so was practically impossible to massage.
As the weeks rolled on some people dropped out of the class as I expected - leopard print woman was the first to go, which was good as she was very annoying! The girl from the shelter treated it like a checking in session, she would come and show her face and then disappear. This annoyed me as it is such a valuable resource and she was just wasting it.
Spending time with mums who are very different to me was quite eye opening - I'm used to Hannah, Caroline and co - we all have similar ideas and do things the same. One mother was talking about going back to work and starting to express, however couldn't get anymore than 2 fl oz of milk in an hour, yet she was adament that she was never ever going to use formula. Another talked about what a fantastic sleeper her four month old baby was, despite cluster feeding from 7-11pm, going to bed at 11.30pm and waking a couple of times before 6am - not a good sleeper as far as I am concerned.
At times I felt like I wasn't really entitled to be there, particularly when the course leader was discussing access to benefits and support to one mum. The day someone said how much they liked my change bag in front of the whole class threw me - I just said thanks and that James had bought it for me. I didn't tell them that it was an expensive designer bag as I didn't want to show off.
I feel very bad for my original preconceptions about the Ormiston Centre and the people that go there. I wasn't the only person in the class who wasn't a typical 'Sure Start centre mum' - yet we got a lot out of the course and it was good to mix with other people, not just mums with cleaners and expensive cars and who put their kids into nursery just to have a bit of free time (which I don't have, or do by the way). Maya even posed for some promotion photos with the Ormiston Trust MD!
Centres like the Ormiston Centre do a fantastic job and hopefully if a wider range of people use them they will have less of a stigma attached to them.
(1) Maya had bad colic at the time and I hoped massage would help alleviate this.
(2) It was free - we were already doing Lazy Daisy baby classes and swimming every week so our weekly outlay was around £30 when I factored in lunch, coffee, cake, etc.
Unfortunately we didn't get a place on the course as it was oversubscribed. This pissed me off as I have seen many of the mums at the Ormiston Centre and I imagined that the course would be really busy the first week, and then several would decide not to bother to go again. Whereas I knew we would value that place. I was doubly annoyed as the Incredible Babies course, which sounded really interesting and was all about development up to six months, was also full.
After Christmas I received a phone call saying that the next Baby Massage course was about to start and would I like a place. I said yes straight away and was looking forward to taking Maya there, although I declined the place they offered me on the Incredible Babies course as I didn't feel we'd get much out of it now Maya was over six months old.
So Tuesday afternoon we trotted along to the Ormiston Centre. I was way out of my comfort zone as over the last few months Maya and I have been going to (relatively expensive) classes that cater to the middle class parent, and even the free Baby Bounce sessions are at Woodbridge so we never mix with the types of parents that frequent the Sure Start centres. I am usually the poor relation with my 08 Renault Scenic in comparison to the Audi brigade!
The class was an odd mix - there were a few mums who were with their second child, one who didn't know she was pregnant until almost the third trimester (and she was a teacher!), a mouthy woman dressed head to toe in leopard print, a teenage mum living in a shelter and a mousy woman who was accompanied by her partner and his overbearing mother who kept shouting out and telling her what to do.
The course lasted five weeks, and each session kicked off with an ice breaker introduction. The first week we had to say who we were and why we had chosen our baby's name. My favourite was leopard print woman whose baby had a really stupid name - because she had unwisely let her eight year old son pick it. FFS!!! Another session we had to say what our favourite colour was and why! And the last session we had to say what we most liked about being a mum - Maya had been a right pain that day so I had to bite my tongue and be positive!
The massage techniques were okay, not taught especially well but good for a free course. Each session was 25 minutes massage followed by half an hour or so of chatting about issues that were concerning us. I didn't really want to stay for that part but felt it was rude to just get up and go. It was particularly unhelpful for us as Maya was the oldest by quite a way so all of the issues worrying the other mums were no longer affecting us. In the end I seemed to be answering all the questions, talking about our experiences and worrying that I was dominating the sessions and being viewed as the snotty know-it-all! The last couple of weeks were hard work as Maya spent the entire sessions rolling over and trying to crawl so was practically impossible to massage.
As the weeks rolled on some people dropped out of the class as I expected - leopard print woman was the first to go, which was good as she was very annoying! The girl from the shelter treated it like a checking in session, she would come and show her face and then disappear. This annoyed me as it is such a valuable resource and she was just wasting it.
Spending time with mums who are very different to me was quite eye opening - I'm used to Hannah, Caroline and co - we all have similar ideas and do things the same. One mother was talking about going back to work and starting to express, however couldn't get anymore than 2 fl oz of milk in an hour, yet she was adament that she was never ever going to use formula. Another talked about what a fantastic sleeper her four month old baby was, despite cluster feeding from 7-11pm, going to bed at 11.30pm and waking a couple of times before 6am - not a good sleeper as far as I am concerned.
At times I felt like I wasn't really entitled to be there, particularly when the course leader was discussing access to benefits and support to one mum. The day someone said how much they liked my change bag in front of the whole class threw me - I just said thanks and that James had bought it for me. I didn't tell them that it was an expensive designer bag as I didn't want to show off.
I feel very bad for my original preconceptions about the Ormiston Centre and the people that go there. I wasn't the only person in the class who wasn't a typical 'Sure Start centre mum' - yet we got a lot out of the course and it was good to mix with other people, not just mums with cleaners and expensive cars and who put their kids into nursery just to have a bit of free time (which I don't have, or do by the way). Maya even posed for some promotion photos with the Ormiston Trust MD!
Centres like the Ormiston Centre do a fantastic job and hopefully if a wider range of people use them they will have less of a stigma attached to them.
How unhelpful can you be?
A quick rant about the healthcare profession and in particular those who specifically deal with babies...
Over the last few months I have taken Maya to the GP on several occasions. Each time it has been for a valid reason yet I feel that I am wasting their time and/or being fobbed off. The fact that Maya is always smiling throughout each consultation doesn't help! However at the same time I am not going to let them keep us away from the surgery if we really need to be there.
Back in autumn when Maya had diarrhoea the GP helpfully told me not to give her any milk for a couple of days. She was three months old. Obviously I ignored his advice and she got better herself a few days later.
Another GP said to water down formula feeds - something the formula box categorically states not to. Who should I believe?
Over Christmas when Maya had bronchiolitus we saw 4 different healthcare professionals. One said she had a chest infection, another said she had a mild case but wouldn't be affected by it, our third person said to take her straight to hospital! On this occasion all of the conflicting advice wasted lots of our time, made us worried sick all over Christmas and made Maya take medication that she didn't need, hated taking and actually gave her diarrhoea!
Regularly I speak to healthcare assistants at the weigh-in clinic. I don't think they have ever answered one of my questions properly, and more recently they have just made me angry. Surely if they deal with babies and their parents on a daily basis they should be able to give me some simple advice about weaning and reducing milk feeds? They couldn't. How some of these people come to be in this role is astounding. Over the last few months I have encountered many mothers who desperately need help and advice - and they rely on these often unhelpful people, who also don't listen. I was told a few weeks ago that Maya should only be on 15fl oz of milk a day - she was six months old at the time and had just started weaning. All babies need between 18-21 fl oz a day between 6-12 months. I know this - surely they should too! Yet she couldn't tell me how to reduce the feeds. They also have no helpful advice for getting water into babies who won't drink it - apparently water is unimportant! And this weeks patronising talk about administering eye drops was very annoying - she just wouldn't accept that Maya won't let me do them.
I guess I am lucky to be in the position where I read a lot, have lots of friends who can offer advice and have common sense. I am starting to have a bit more confidence in my own judgements and having to rely less on these judgemental and uninformed idiots. And when I do need advice I know that I can get it from the lovely staff at the Ormiston Centre - who are actually really helpful.
Over the last few months I have taken Maya to the GP on several occasions. Each time it has been for a valid reason yet I feel that I am wasting their time and/or being fobbed off. The fact that Maya is always smiling throughout each consultation doesn't help! However at the same time I am not going to let them keep us away from the surgery if we really need to be there.
Back in autumn when Maya had diarrhoea the GP helpfully told me not to give her any milk for a couple of days. She was three months old. Obviously I ignored his advice and she got better herself a few days later.
Another GP said to water down formula feeds - something the formula box categorically states not to. Who should I believe?
Over Christmas when Maya had bronchiolitus we saw 4 different healthcare professionals. One said she had a chest infection, another said she had a mild case but wouldn't be affected by it, our third person said to take her straight to hospital! On this occasion all of the conflicting advice wasted lots of our time, made us worried sick all over Christmas and made Maya take medication that she didn't need, hated taking and actually gave her diarrhoea!
Regularly I speak to healthcare assistants at the weigh-in clinic. I don't think they have ever answered one of my questions properly, and more recently they have just made me angry. Surely if they deal with babies and their parents on a daily basis they should be able to give me some simple advice about weaning and reducing milk feeds? They couldn't. How some of these people come to be in this role is astounding. Over the last few months I have encountered many mothers who desperately need help and advice - and they rely on these often unhelpful people, who also don't listen. I was told a few weeks ago that Maya should only be on 15fl oz of milk a day - she was six months old at the time and had just started weaning. All babies need between 18-21 fl oz a day between 6-12 months. I know this - surely they should too! Yet she couldn't tell me how to reduce the feeds. They also have no helpful advice for getting water into babies who won't drink it - apparently water is unimportant! And this weeks patronising talk about administering eye drops was very annoying - she just wouldn't accept that Maya won't let me do them.
I guess I am lucky to be in the position where I read a lot, have lots of friends who can offer advice and have common sense. I am starting to have a bit more confidence in my own judgements and having to rely less on these judgemental and uninformed idiots. And when I do need advice I know that I can get it from the lovely staff at the Ormiston Centre - who are actually really helpful.
Where does the time go????
So haven't posted for a while, in fact was surprised to see that I lasted posted three months ago, as it only seems like yesterday!
Anyway Maya was seven months old last week - and the last couple of months have seen loads of highs, but unfortunately a few lows. We'll get them out of the way first - we were so excited when her first tooth arrived back in October - very early indeed. However, we were less keen on the constant dribbling, crying and the diarrhoea that accompanied it. Eight teeth later, we are sick of teething!!!! Particularly as the last four came through at the same time and it seemed that for a couple of weeks we were stuffing her full of calpol constantly - something that I feel as a good mum I should probably not be doing! We also hate teething as it is horrible to see Maya in so much pain, but probably even more so as she no longer sleeps through the night.
Back in the autumn we thought we had cracked it. A bottle before bed and a dream feed at around 11pm would see her sleeping through til 6-7am. Now we are lucky if she only wakes us up once between midnight and 6am and she has only slept through two or three times since Christmas. Unfortunately as she is much more mobile now she constantly wakes herself up by rolling over and hitting her head on the cot sides! We have even had a few miserable evenings where we have had less than four hours sleep - which is worse than when she was a new born!
Back in December we may as well have set up camp at the surgery. Several appointments were spent discussing bowel issues - even to the extent when we were going to send samples to the hospital when suddenly it sorted itself out. Unfortunately we then had a fierce battle with bronchiolitus - the week before Christmas we trotted once more up to Felixstowe Road Medical Practice (one of my most hated places in the world) where the nurse practitioner misdiagnosed Maya with a chest infection - she stated it definitely wasn't bronchiolitus and prescribed some antibiotics which Maya hated, made her vomit up her feeds, gave her diarrhoea and had absolutely no effect on the bronchiolitus which she was then diagnosed with a few days later. Typically she went rapidly downhill on Christmas Eve - and with the surgery closed for four days we endured an unpleasant trip to the Riverside Clinic (a horrible place where the most infectious people naturally seem to drift towards babies). Luckily due to Maya's age and the fact she was very wheezy meant that we were regarded as an urgent case so got to jump the queue. She was given oxygen there and prescribed steroids (which were spat up straight away!) and an inhaler. We were then told that if she started wheezing again we had to go straight to A&E. I was distraught as the prospect of spending her first Christmas in hospital. Luckily she was okay all Christmas Day but on Boxing Day we were back at the clinic. This time the doctor said she was absolutely fine, was coping very well with the condition and definitely didn't need hospital treatment - as I thought. This was great to hear, but it was annoying that an over-cautious nurse a couple of days before had got us really worried!
Since Christmas we have coped with several colds and a constant streaming nose, a small bout of conjunctivitus (compared to my own hideous bout where I couldn't see!) and a small burning incident which made me feel like the worst mum in the world. I will not be checking the slow cooker again with Maya in my arms. Luckily she escaped with just a small blister on one finger. We are hoping that she is back to 100% fitness soon as that might lead to bit more sleep for us all!
I know I may seem really moany but there have been so many more highs over the last few months. Some highlights...
(1) Lots of laughing and talking - admittedly it makes no sense at the moment but is still lovely to hear. The best laughs are huge chuckles and are normally triggered by us blowing raspberries on her belly!
(2) The first 'mama' and 'dada' - again we are under no illusion that she knows what this means or that this was on purpose. 'Mama' came first - fantastic!
(3) Enjoying proper foods - and in particular the ones I have cooked myself. The only food she has not liked has been salmon - everything else has been embraced with lots of excitement (and mess!).
(4) Sitting up and entertaining herself with her toys - she is so much more interesting now!!
(5) Interacting with other babies - she loves playing with Jack and Maggie and it is so cute how they recognise each other. However poor Jack is bullied by the girls - if they are not pulling his hair or poking his ears, then they are stealing his toys.
(6) Taking much more notice of everything. At the zoo the other day she was watching all the animals closely and was getting very excited.
(7) Being the most smiley baby in the world!
Anyway Maya was seven months old last week - and the last couple of months have seen loads of highs, but unfortunately a few lows. We'll get them out of the way first - we were so excited when her first tooth arrived back in October - very early indeed. However, we were less keen on the constant dribbling, crying and the diarrhoea that accompanied it. Eight teeth later, we are sick of teething!!!! Particularly as the last four came through at the same time and it seemed that for a couple of weeks we were stuffing her full of calpol constantly - something that I feel as a good mum I should probably not be doing! We also hate teething as it is horrible to see Maya in so much pain, but probably even more so as she no longer sleeps through the night.
Back in the autumn we thought we had cracked it. A bottle before bed and a dream feed at around 11pm would see her sleeping through til 6-7am. Now we are lucky if she only wakes us up once between midnight and 6am and she has only slept through two or three times since Christmas. Unfortunately as she is much more mobile now she constantly wakes herself up by rolling over and hitting her head on the cot sides! We have even had a few miserable evenings where we have had less than four hours sleep - which is worse than when she was a new born!
Back in December we may as well have set up camp at the surgery. Several appointments were spent discussing bowel issues - even to the extent when we were going to send samples to the hospital when suddenly it sorted itself out. Unfortunately we then had a fierce battle with bronchiolitus - the week before Christmas we trotted once more up to Felixstowe Road Medical Practice (one of my most hated places in the world) where the nurse practitioner misdiagnosed Maya with a chest infection - she stated it definitely wasn't bronchiolitus and prescribed some antibiotics which Maya hated, made her vomit up her feeds, gave her diarrhoea and had absolutely no effect on the bronchiolitus which she was then diagnosed with a few days later. Typically she went rapidly downhill on Christmas Eve - and with the surgery closed for four days we endured an unpleasant trip to the Riverside Clinic (a horrible place where the most infectious people naturally seem to drift towards babies). Luckily due to Maya's age and the fact she was very wheezy meant that we were regarded as an urgent case so got to jump the queue. She was given oxygen there and prescribed steroids (which were spat up straight away!) and an inhaler. We were then told that if she started wheezing again we had to go straight to A&E. I was distraught as the prospect of spending her first Christmas in hospital. Luckily she was okay all Christmas Day but on Boxing Day we were back at the clinic. This time the doctor said she was absolutely fine, was coping very well with the condition and definitely didn't need hospital treatment - as I thought. This was great to hear, but it was annoying that an over-cautious nurse a couple of days before had got us really worried!
Since Christmas we have coped with several colds and a constant streaming nose, a small bout of conjunctivitus (compared to my own hideous bout where I couldn't see!) and a small burning incident which made me feel like the worst mum in the world. I will not be checking the slow cooker again with Maya in my arms. Luckily she escaped with just a small blister on one finger. We are hoping that she is back to 100% fitness soon as that might lead to bit more sleep for us all!
I know I may seem really moany but there have been so many more highs over the last few months. Some highlights...
(1) Lots of laughing and talking - admittedly it makes no sense at the moment but is still lovely to hear. The best laughs are huge chuckles and are normally triggered by us blowing raspberries on her belly!
(2) The first 'mama' and 'dada' - again we are under no illusion that she knows what this means or that this was on purpose. 'Mama' came first - fantastic!
(3) Enjoying proper foods - and in particular the ones I have cooked myself. The only food she has not liked has been salmon - everything else has been embraced with lots of excitement (and mess!).
(4) Sitting up and entertaining herself with her toys - she is so much more interesting now!!
(5) Interacting with other babies - she loves playing with Jack and Maggie and it is so cute how they recognise each other. However poor Jack is bullied by the girls - if they are not pulling his hair or poking his ears, then they are stealing his toys.
(6) Taking much more notice of everything. At the zoo the other day she was watching all the animals closely and was getting very excited.
(7) Being the most smiley baby in the world!
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